From Chubby Chick to Hot Mama: A Memoir

Thanks for stickin' with me

2011-06-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's been over six months since my last post and I was shocked to find that I haven't lost even one follower! Thank you all for sticking with me! Needless to say some pretty life changing events have happened in my life but it's finally time to jump back into losing this baby weight and beyond!

Luckily I was able to maintain my weight between the months of non stop school, single motherhood and no sleep! I decided to take the summer semester off school and really focus on weight loss and spend some time with my daughters. Since school got out at the end of April I've been gung ho about losing weight. My lovely friend Roxie and I have been hiking, biking and Zumba fools! We've even sort of been training to run a 5k! Running does seem to take a back seat to the other fun activities though.

My newest short term goal is to have lost my baby weight (30 more lbs) by September 23, 2011. That is the night Blue October will be playing in Salt Lake City and you can bet I won't miss it! It's a bit of a lofty goal but I'm going to go for it!

Thanks again to everyone who has continued to follow my blog when there was nothing to follow! I'm so excited to be back and be in such a better place than I was before.

New Year, New Me!

2011-01-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

Sounds typical right?

I cancelled my Weight Watcher's membership. Yup. Cancelled. How's that for typical New Year's Resolution?

I was a little bit freaked out to hit that "submit" button, but I did it. The new plan was not working for me, I just couldn't get motivated the way I was the first time I joined. I'd been considering it for some time and with the turning of the new year it was time for some change.

I downloaded an app on my iphone a week ago that I am absolutely loving! I put in my current weight and my goal weight and the date I want to be at my goal weight and it calculated exactly how many calories I should be eating a day. I can also track my exercise and my weight on the app. Even though its a little more work than WW was for me, it's new and it's working. I've been successful in tracking every bite since Sunday and stayed with in my daily calorie limit except for one day. If I keep this up I should be at my goal weight by Halloween 2011. :)

Hey! Mommies and Daddies out there! I need your help!

Since the turn of the new year and my returned determination and motivation my 3 year old daughter has become very interested in "exercise" and "being healthy" because that's what mommy is doing. So, I've been wondering, am I doing her a disservice in the long run teaching her about exercise and eating healthy this young? Is it something I should just be modeling? And if so, what age is appropriate to teach children about this?

I would appreciate your opinions and experiences you may have with this issue and your kids. I would like to raise my children to be fit and happy adults, I don't want them to have to suffer being overweight like I have.

Thanks for reading! I've reached over100 followers and I hope that all of you find something useful and inspiring here!

Holiday Stumble

2010-12-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

As Grinchy as I was feeling this year I was beginning to wonder if I would make it through the holidays, but I did! It's pretty dismal on the weight loss front however. So much good food! I do the same thing every year (as I'm sure a lot of people do.) I give myself a little pep talk before I even lay eyes on the holiday spread about how I'm going to enjoy a taste but control myself and somehow every year that goes right out the window as soon as the food is in view and now, thanks to my own doing, I'm feeling super Grinchy again.

I haven't stood on the scale in weeks, which was also the last time I was at a weight watchers meeting. The way my clothes fit hasn't changed so I'm seriously hoping I haven't gained too much. I'm considering going back to basics, dropping the new weight watchers plan and going it on my own with the old plan and Zumba. I've done it before and I know I can do it again! Hell, if it fails I can always go crawling back to the meetings. I loved the old plan and had great success with it, and that was before I discovered the ass kicking Zumba work outs. I can do it, just writing this post has got me all pumped!!

On a side note, Santa made it to our house and we had a great Christmas! There was about 24 hours there when I was feeling the holiday spirit. I was spoiled with a lot of tools to help me in this journey (Wii fit, Biggest Loser Wii game, and the Zumba Wii game.) Watching Frankie enjoy the celebration was definitely the best part though. She was good to include her little sister Andie and still managed to squeeze out a few "thank yous" to the people who gave her gifts.

As depressing and frustrating as fighting being overweight can be it's good to know that the people who love me love me for me, and will always be there for me no matter my size. :) Happy Holidays everyone!

2010-12-16T00:19:00.000-08:00

After about 4 weeks sequestered in my basement working on homework I have emerged. Unlike a caterpillar however, I'm not a beautiful butterfly. It's hard to fit everything in, I finally had to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with myself and I realized that blogging and weight loss will wait, while school will not. In the midst of reading, cramming, re-reading, and other studying stuff I was not very good at sticking to any sort of eating plan. Exercise went out the window for a while too.... When I finally did make it to a Weight Watchers meeting I had gained 2.4 lbs, my biggest gain in my WW history. It was depressing, but motivating as well.

I got quite the surprise with the new PointsPlus program when I finally made it back to a meeting. I'm having a hard time adjusting. I was a pro and the old points program, I could almost always get the Points Value right if I knew the calories, fat and fiber. I had a lot of food's values memorized too.

While I'm annoyed that I now have to calculate everything I eat again, it may just be the boost I need. I feel like I'm a new member again. I'm more excited about writing things down! I even took a sharpie to some of the food containers in my house - I've always thought it was a good idea but had most of the points values memorized. The number one thing I LOVE about the new plan is the 0 PointsPlus fruits and vegetables!! I always thought it wasn't right that I would pass on bananas because I didn't want to use the points. Overall I'm excited about this new plan. I really like the fact that Weight Watcher's cares about it's members health as well as their success - one more reason it works for me!

Making Friends Monday

2010-12-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

School is finally coming to an end and I'm ready to get my serious blog on. I have a great vision for the design and content of my blog that I'm hoping will become a reality in the near future. Thanks to everyone who has continued to follow my blog despite my recent absence.

What a better come back than a blog hop?

Baja Tofu Wrap - Recipe

2010-12-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

Baja Tofu Wrap

I am not a vegetarian, but I'm no meatatarian either. Truly I am a Weight Watcher-atarian. I came up with this recipe on a Saturday afternoon when I was in a bit of a rush, believe it or not. I opened the fridge hoping to find something healthy ready to grab and go but alas life is never that easy. Instead I saw a bit of tofu left from a dinner I had prepared for my beautiful friend Marci and her family earlier in the week and some left over sautéed onions and peppers from fajitas the night before, it was like the light shown down from above and suddenly I had a gourmet lunch in nothing flat!

What you'll need:
1 package extra firm tofu
2 plates or cookie sheets
4-8 paper towels
1 package whole-wheat 96% Fat Free Tortillas
1 medium yellow onion
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 lime (optional)

sour cream
taco sauce (I prefer the green mild)

First things first. You need to press the water out of the tofu. Slice the tofu into 1/2 inch slices. Place two paper towels on one of the plates or cookie sheets. Lay the tofu on top of the paper towels and cover with two more paper towels. Next, place the second plate or cookie sheet on top and put some heavy objects on top. I like to use cans of soup, usually 5-6 of them. Leave the tofu like this for 30-40 minutes. If your paper towels get completely saturated with liquid it may be a good idea to switch them out mid-press.

While you're waiting, now would be an excellent time to get your onion and peppers sliced up.

I'm no expert on tofu, in fact when I came up with this recipe it was only the 2nd time I'd ever cooked tofu. My directions for the tofu are based on very little experience but seem to work well. So, when your tofu has been pressed cut it into about 1/2 inch squares. Season the tofu with spice of your choice. I like salt and pepper or seasoning salt- they both taste great.

Sauté them over medium heat. I spray my pan with cooking spray to keep the calories as low as possible but olive oil would work fantastic as well! Be sure to turn the tofu at least once to brown at least 2 sides. Doing this adds flavor and well just makes it look yummy! If you are a starving student like me and only have one frying pan just put your cooked tofu in a bowl and cover it with foil to keep it warm while you sauté the veggies.

Again I start by spraying the pan with cooking spray and sauté the onion and peppers over medium heat. Cook until they are softened but still somewhat crispy. Don't stir them too much so that you can get those tasty little charred edges on the peppers.

While you're waiting, now would be an excellent time to get your tortilla ready to go and if you haven't already grab some sour cream and taco sauce of your choice. I used mild green sauce for this dish.

When the peppers are getting close to being done go ahead and load up the tofu on your tortilla. Add the onion pepper mixture and top with the sour cream and green sauce. I also make a chicken version of this meal and squeeze fresh lime juice over the chicken - it would probably taste just as delicious on this dish. Roll up it all up and enjoy!

Bon Apetit!

{Not So} Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-11T00:11:00.000-08:00

Frankie

{June 26, 2009}

It's hard to believe she was ever this small.

My babies are growing up too fast!

My weigh in went GREAT! I lost 2.6lbs, and met my 10% goal. TEN PERCENT OF ME IS GONE! FOREVER! WAHOO!! I've lost 23.2 total (which is actually a little bit more than my 10%) I've been concentrating on finding substitutions for my favorites instead of abstaining completely from them. My results aren't any different than losing weight after my sweet little Frankie (above), but I'm enjoying the journey so much more this time around. It's definitely a more doable lifestyle!

2 blogs!? Am I crazy!

2010-11-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

Well I did it! I finally started a photo blog! Head on over and check it out!

FAB Photography and Design

On a weight loss note - tonight is weigh in! I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm still not where I want to be with tracking my food but otherwise I've had a pretty awesome week :) I'm getting really close to breaking the two hundred mark and I can't wait!!

So, in my last post I talked about lightening up some of my holiday favorites and now I'm thinking about taking it one step further and making a cookbook. I know it's been done time and time again, but hell why not give it a try? If nobody else wants one at least I'll have all my recipes in one place. :)

Some new ideas!

2010-11-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about the upcoming holidays... and all the evil, tempting, sugar and fat loaded food that comes with them. I definitely need to have a game plan in place before they're staring me in the face. I've decided that instead of abstaining from the delicious and oh so fattening foods this holiday season I'm going to try and come up with some substitutions for the classics. My ultimate favorite for Thanksgiving is pumpkin pie, hands down, so that's where I'll be starting. Keep an eye out for the recipe I come up with and the disasters that may ensue!

My weight loss is going great! I'm steadily shedding the pounds. I was really shocked at the scales this week. After Halloween weekend I was just hoping that I wouldn't have gained. I've been doing Zumba 5 times a week and I'm convinced it was my savior this week! Needless to say, if Halloween was rough I'm sure the big food holidays will be filled with even more temptation, I'm so glad I'm thinking ahead!

Some Serious Milestones

2010-10-26T00:15:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet little Andie hit two major milestones all in one day!

Today was her first taste of rice cereal! She did so wonderful! First she looked so CUTE sitting up in the high chair! (With the help of the 3-point buckle) She looked so incredibly tiny in that gargantuan seat! Second, the first bite was so funny. She opened her sweet little mouth when I put the spoon up to it and just held it open, so I put the food on her tongue and of course she began to move it around in her mouth and inevitably it all came running out! By the end of the feeding she was getting pretty good at the idea of closing her mouth on the spoon and doing a very good job of keeping most of the cereal in her mouth! She would get so excited when she could see the spoon coming toward her mouth, her chubby little legs would start pumping and her arms flailing all over the place. The are the moments I live for!

My favorite thing about being a mom, next to the unconditional love of a child is hearing their first giggle. There is something about this that can bring tears to my eyes. The innocence and excitement in a baby's first laugh is magical, and today I heard my Andie's first real giggle. She was probably sick of seeing my goo goo-gah gah face by mid afternoon. Once I heard that sweet little noise I was pestering her all day to do it again! With some seriously goofy faces and noises I managed to get a few more out of her. I just love it so much! There is a build up that adds to the excitement, the soft coo's as she gets closer and closer to the real thing. I get butterflies just thinking about it!

So there you have it, my sweet little baby is 13 weeks old today (Tuesday) and it's showing. If only we could slow down time for the precious moments in life.

Friendship (Warning: A little bit sappy...)

2010-10-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Today I've been thinking a lot about friendship. What is true friendship? How can I be a better friend? A good, true, lifelong friend posted this as their Facebook status yesterday:

They say everlasting friends can go for long periods of time without speaking and never questioning their friendship. These types of friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has
been or how far away they live, and they don't hold grudges. They understand 'that life is busy', but you will ALWAYS love them.

After thinking about it quite a bit today, and reflecting on this little saying, I've really thought about friendship seriously for the first time in my life. Friends should lift you up-even when you are as high and you think you can go. Friends should be there to comfort you when you hit rock bottom, and everywhere in between. Friends should be like family, and family like friends. So what about the friends that don't meet these requirements? The only answer is to be the friend you want to be and to love them regardless if they reciprocate.

So now what? I'm not perfect to think things and to live them are entirely different.

There is a person in my life who is fiercely competitive. A person who claims to be my friend. I tell myself that I will not get wrapped up in the drama, that I will not let this person's passive aggressive attempts to get me down, get to me. But I do. I find myself thinking about what they would think about some of the things I do. I find myself pushing myself harder to "be better" than them. Sadly, today is the first day I've realized this and, I find it disgusting. So, NO MORE!

Today I feel like I've come to a new place, a more peaceful place. Regardless of what I've told myself in the past, today I feel the power of being true to yourself. I feel excited about letting go of all that garbage and focusing on BEING a better friend, instead of wanting some of my so called "friends" to be better to me. It's as simple as the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Feeling a little lost...

2010-10-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

I know I've said it in nearly every blog post, but I need some serious time management lessons. Everyday I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. This week has been a rough one for me. I've been fighting a cold, dealing with midterms at school, and of course trying to manage being a mommy to two young kiddos (who have also been sick) with out ripping my hair out. I think that I am setting my standards too high each day and getting mighty discouraged when I don't finish every task I've put on my list. Today I tried something a little bit different and it seemed to work for me. I just started doing. No to do list, nothing to check off as "done" (normally I'm a total list kinda girl.) I still came no where near getting as much done as I would have put on my list but I accomplished more than usual. It was SO amazing to feel productive!

♥

I've had a lot on my mind lately regarding my personal life, and I know it's been taking a toll on my weight loss. I've always been so proud to say that I have tremendous will power when it comes to avoiding emotional eating, but these past few weeks I have lost it. I'm picking up crappy food left and right and poppin' it right in my mouth! The most horrible part is, I think about what I'm doing but still do it! I don't want to go into the dirty details, but I know exactly why I'm feeling down. I really hate the spot I'm in right now and I wish with every fiber of my being I knew how to fix it. When did life become so complicated? When did I become a person that couldn't say how I was feeling? How did I become so comfortably numb?

I'm Baaaaaaack

2010-10-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, I've been away for far to long. I've been swamped with school work and other projects. I think I'm finally getting a routine down between homework and taking care of a new baby!

My weight loss has been going fantastic! I've been doing Zumba on a daily basis and sticking with a healthy diet. I've been able to come pretty close to meeting my goal of 2.5lbs a week so far. Even with the gain I had my second week, my large loss the following week made up for it. I will admit I haven't been tracking as diligently as I should be. I'm really afraid that it's going to show at tomorrows weigh in. I guess we'll see!! I have had a lot on my mind this week and I can totally tell my emotions have played a part in my "hunger." I've been bored eating, and sad eating, and mad eating lol... I've been trying to reach for healthy things, really I have.

My beautiful daughter turned 3 years old today :) In some ways I can't believe it's been that long, however; I don't remember what life was like with out her and that makes it feel like forever. She fills my heart with light and laughter. I'm working on a letter to her that I'll probably post here shortly. We had her party on Saturday and all the little girls came dresses as princesses! There was good food, some yummy cupcakes, face painting and family and friends! It was a success with out the stress.

My goals for this week are 1.) to track my points using my ipod touch so I can track right on the WW app. and 2.) to tackle my emotions with other methods than stuffing my face. and 3.) get school work done early to avoid all the stress at the end of the week.

Thanks again to every one of my followers, I promise I will be more present here on my blog! I've missed blabbering!

Exercise High and Similac Beetles....

2010-09-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad I went back to Zumba after Andie was born. It's amazing how fast that hour goes by when your shakin' your ass to that loud Latin music! I felt extra motivated tonight for some reason and I really pushed myself and it felt AMAZING!! Tonight was the second time I've gone this week so I hope that reflects at this weeks weigh in!

Exercising like that even motivated me to get back on track with eating and tracking! I haven't by any means gone off track as far as my food choices are concerned, just slacked a little on measuring and tracking.

Speaking of eating... I made the most amazing dinner last night. I found a recipe on WeightWatchers.com and amended it a little bit. The recipe was called Baja Taco Blitz. I started with a 96% fat free tortilla (2 points) top with grilled chicken, cubed (3 points), a squeeze of lime, sauted(w/cooking spray) sweet onions and bell peppers, fat-free sour cream, and green taco sauce. It was an instant hit, not only with me but my whole family!

Alright, WTF (please excuse my obscene letters) is with the beetles in Similac? Oh yes it's true.

And guess who had 3 containers of recalled formula? That'd be me.

Next, guess who didn't have any other fomula in the house? Me again.

And Last, Guess who got to run to the store in the middle of the night, stand in front of the baby formula twiddling their thumbs because she had absolutely no idea what to look for in a different formula? Yep, you got it. Me.

I was so mad last night I'm sure there was steam coming from my ears as I walked through the store when I was getting new formula. But, now that I've cooled now and my baby isn't drinking beetles anymore I think this may have been a blessing in disguise. The new Enfamil brand I chose is doing wonders for my sweet little Monkey's gas problems! Needless to say, when the recall is over and the formula is "safe" again we won't be buying Similac.

I'm glad it's all figured out now, and Andie slept for 7 hours last night-she must have been relieved too....

Weigh in day...

2010-09-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

Da-da-daaaaa...

I felt like suspenseful music was appropriate there. I lost another 1.2 lbs this week! I weighed at 220 on the dot tonight so next week I'm hoping to break that second digit and be in the teens! I didn't track as well as I should and could have, I just got lazy. I probably would have had better results had I been more diligent, so I'll try harder this week!

I went back to Zumba for the first time since having little Andie. I thought I would be so lost, I was even afraid I wouldn't have the stamina to finish! But I did, and loved it! I surprisingly even remembered some of the steps! I've never experienced being high on any drug, but if it feels like what I feel like after Zumba I can totally understand how people become addicted. It makes time go by so quickly which for me is important when doing exercise. I don't wanna force myself to trudge through something I'm not enjoying!

Tonight at Weight Watchers the lesson was about asking for help. I think I do a fairly good job at this when it comes to my weight loss. I ask for help taking care of the kids if an activity isn't stroller friendly. My family and friends know what I'm doing and don't try to pressure me into bad choices. (Someone in the meeting actually said their friend peer pressured them into eating at a restaurant when they didn't want to... I'm thinking time for some new friends!) I'm lucky to have awesome supportive friends and family!

Biggest Loser anyone? I watched the premiere tonight and was so motivated by the end I was ready for another workout! Some of those people have had to go through some serious struggles in their lives and to see them trying as hard as they are is inspiring. The woman who lost her 3 year old son to cancer broke my heart! I don't think I would be able to function if I lost a child, let alone get up there in front of America and feel so vulnerable and open about such a sensitive subject as weight. My hat is off to this woman, those two things require bravery I'm not sure I have.

One last thing, my thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Jessica Wilson. She was hit by a car and killed on the BYU campus this past weekend. I worked briefly with her at Wal-Mart and while she was only an acquaintance it's chilling to hear about her untimely death. She was kind and soft spoken and very easy to get along with in the little time that I knew here. Without a doubt I'm sure she leaves behind many who love her. RIP Jess.

So behind...

2010-09-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

365 of Frankiestein and Andes Mints!

{Seven}
Frankie was running around Grandma's House.
♥
Andie's face is just priceless. She's good at those.
♥ her.

{Eight}
Friends and Sisters.

Frankie and Andie.

Tatum and Jaelee.
(Missing you Levin and Brighton)

{Nine}
Yes, I almost forgot to take pics this day. :)
And yes, I'm still behind a few days. I know my kiddos are amazingly beautiful, but you'll just have to wait! Bwahaha!

Tuesday Blog Hop!

2010-09-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hippity Hop! I'm finding new friends! This is the first blog hop I've participated in! :) My blog is growing up so fast, where DOES the time go?

Exercise? Nope. Bloggy Bootcamp? YES!!

2010-09-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm mesmerized gazing into baby Andie's eyes and catching glimpses of her adorable dimples as she flashes me sweet little smiles. It's just the two of us, our other two crashed out early tonight. I love these special little bonding moments. I'll probably remember this moment for the rest of my life. :)

I didn't exercise today. I feel a little guilty. It was a busy day for me and by the time I had time to exercise I really just felt like 1.) eating and 2.) vegging in front of the computer for some Photoshop and blog time.

I didn't eat very good today either. I didn't go over my points or even make the worst food choices but I definitely didn't prepare like I should have. This should explain what kind of day it was: Breakfast: Rockstar lite coffee drink. Only 2 points, however, not that great tasting. Waste of money. Waste of points. Lunch was non-existent, unless you count the tiny piece of cake I had at a birthday party. (Which I'm going to blame for the slight stomach ache going on right now...)

And definitely not a great way to start the day. I made up for it at dinner. Egg white omelet, Alternative English muffin, yogurt. Healthy and satisfying!

In other SUPER EXCITING news, I've decided to go to Bloggy Boot Camp in November! I'm going with Marci and it's being held in St. George so it'll double as a girls road trip!! I'm so excited to learn more about blogging, networking, and writing. The speakers all seem so fantastic! And, believe it or not, I'm looking forward to stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people! I'm entering to win a ticket over at The Daily Blarg's giveaway! I started browsing hotels today and I'm getting SO excited! It ends on Monday so cross your fingers for me!

Well my little love bug is sitting here on my lap crashed out now, too. You know what they say "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." And, I don't mind if I do!

Zzzzz......

It's about time...

2010-09-16T22:49:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, when life gets busy - life gets BUSY! But here I am now so let's get started.

This week has been crazy! 15 credits at school and a newborn is proving to be a lot more challenging than I thought, but I'll make it through (even if I pull all my hair out by the end of December.)

It's about DAMN time- I had THE BEST weigh in of my life! I lost 5.4 lbs this week! I could barely sit still in my meeting, I wanted to scream, dance, cry... That is the most I've ever lost in a week... ever! It put me right back on track with my goal of 2.5lbs a week. Total lost 7.4lbs! Wow, even just typing it now I kind of want to jump up and down!

One thing that I think impacted my weigh in in a positive way was my attitude. I felt horrible gaining at my second week and the old me would have beat herself up all week long, deprived myself of anything not completely diet in turn just starting the vicious cycle of feeling bad all over again. BUT I didn't. This week I didn't, I ignored the gain went on about my busy busy business. I tracked what I ate religiously, and just made sure to get in my activity daily.

It's about time I found a few new low point favorites from the grocery store. The Western Alternative Bagel, and English muffin are only 1 point each - and taste the same as the regular kind to me! I just tried the Weight Watcher's brand cream cheese for the first time, 1 point for 2 tablespoons - lovin' it. I also found some New Quaker oatmeal - Hazelnut Latte flavored! It's not bad but definitely better with a lil cinnamon or splenda. It smells just like a Hazelnut Latte though, YUM!

It's about time I got back to Zumba! Tonight was FANTASTIC! I haven't been since I was about 4 weeks prego (last December) and I didn't know how much I missed it. It is such a great workout because it's SO fun! The teacher at the particular class I go to has such great energy I don't think I could have a bad time if I tried! I can't wait for next Thursday!

Cheers to another great week! Are you on a weight loss journey too? Please leave some comments, questions... let's talk!

I haven't forgotten about my blog challenge of 365 days of Frankie and Andie, I have been taking the pics I just haven't had time to get them uploaded and posted, but they're coming!!

Favorite Fall Memories

2010-09-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

There is something about Fall that makes my heart jump for joy! I love the feeling of the first time you step outside and realize... Fall is right around the corner. The air is crisp and cool and has a distinct smell that I can't quite put into words. The sun seems to create a warm cast on everything and there is an eerie quietness all around, even if you are in the middle of traffic, or at a park, fall is quiet. Or perhaps it only seems this way because of the leaves rustling as the wind blows? Fall has always been a time of contemplation for me. As the world around me changes I feel it necessary to do the same.

I always associate the beginning of Fall with going back to school. A new year, a new you, time for rebirth, reinvention and creation. The beginning of the school year always filled my head with ambition to go above and beyond, do the best and be the best. But slowly as time went on schoolwork (sadly now) took a back seat to social time just in time for Halloween.

Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday! It has the best traditions, best colors, best food and treats... it is the best! Who doesn't love to dress up, eat good food and get spooked? One of my absolute favorite memories of Fall time and Halloween is when I volunteered at a spook alley! Maybe I'm strange but I find that terrified "OMG" look on people's faces after you jump out and give them your best roar, FREAKIN' HILARIOUS! I could seriously watch those youtube vids ALL day. However, being there in person for the shriek is the best!

When I think of Fall inevitably I think of the album In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth:3 by Coheed and Cambria, only the best band on our planet... and any planet for that matter. I still remember the day I bought it, I was out of town in Las Vegas, NV and I bought it at the Virgin Megastore in Ceasar's Palace (and I think it was Oct. 4, 2003, but I could be wrong.) This album and band has changed my life and I will forever think of Fall when I listen to In Keeping Secrets, and I will forever think of this album during Fall time.

One of my earliest Fall memories is one of my Halloween costumes that my mom made when I was 4 or 5 years old. I was a 1920's flapper girl! I LOVED that costume! I can still remember watching my mom sew it at our kitchen table. It was lavender and I loved the way I could shake the fringe! I could even go as far as to say that I loved this costume so much, it inspired me to research fashion in the 1920's as my senior project in highschool. I recreated the costume in pink!

I could go on with memories of Fall forever, but I will stop with just one more, the birth of my amazing Frankie. October 11, 2007 changed Fall time for me in the best way possible, she was born at 11:03 pm by emergency c-section. After 12 long hours of waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen my blood pressure was only rising and my body was showing no signs of it happening on it's own. 3 years later I couldn't be more proud of my little lovely. She's smart and beautiful, kind, generous, polite and makes me smile like no other Fall memory could.

{5 and 6}

2010-09-13T21:20:00.001-07:00

Day 5

I promise I take her out of her carseat, she just usually looks so peaceful and so i snap a pic!

Day 6

Lovin' her new boots!

Spectacular Saturday!

2010-09-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

My legs are aching something fierce tonight.

Roxie and I rode our bikes 5.5 miles today! I know it doesn't seem like very far on a bike, and it's not, but when you're just starting out on the work out wagon it's far enough. It felt so good to be active and the weather couldn't have been nicer! I earned 4 activity points. The trail we rode on was almost entirely shaded and the trees grew up around the path creating a tunnel. It will be a beautiful place to ride when the leaves start to change. (Which I am SO excited for!)

On our little excursion we even ran into "Bill Nye, the science guy." I kid you not this dude was a spitting image. We also met a man I've nick-named "The toothless ninja" he was pushing his shopping cart, yes, I repeat, a shopping cart full of fishing gear down the trail until he found a nice place to fish. Exhibit A:
After the bike ride I felt like I deserved a little treat, so I pick up a little Red Mango! No Key Lime this week but this Madagascar Vanilla topped with a little granola and fresh strawberries (3 points) is good enough for me! Exhibit B:

I'm going to be trying some new weight watchers dinner recipes this coming week! :) Check back for pics and recipes!

{Four}

2010-09-11T21:42:00.001-07:00

Tater tots, it's whats for dinner!

Very excited because Daddy found the purple plate she wanted.

Watchin' Mom fix the bike.

oops... big spit up!

{Three}

2010-09-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of 365 photo challenge!

What an eventful day! Andie is pictured with Dr. Bennett, she delivered Andie and Frankie and I have a picture of her with both girls now!

Frankie, Frankie, Frankie.... she decided she wanted to wear make up today, how could I resist taking a few pics. We were laughing our heads off! She was putting make up from ear to ear, litterally!

{Two}

2010-09-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

♥

Kisses

She's so proud to be a big sister, check out this smug face...

Oh Andie's face in this one is PRICELESS!

Day 2 of 365 days of Frankie & Andie

Day 1 of 365 day blog challenge!

2010-09-08T12:42:00.001-07:00

I got this idea from a friend of mine, Marci. I'll be posting a new picture of my kiddos everyday for a year!! I'm excited to watch their transformations over a year!

We started our day with a walk at the mouth of Provo Canyon. The weather was beautiful and so are my babies.

Frankie telling us about the fish in the pond.
Andie's first smile? Maybe.
Frankie spotted the fish in the pond for the first time.
Enough pictures mom, honestly I'm in my pajamas and I have a milk mustache!

Ouch! Not such a good weigh in...

2010-09-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

Alright. This is not MY fault, oh no. I'm not taking responsibility for this gain, I'm blaming the holiday weekend and moving on. Watch your back scale, next week you're going down!

I tracked. I exercised 6 days this week. I held back from eating a lot of tasties while visiting my grandparents and for what? A 1.6 pound gain.

That brings my total lost from 3.6 to 2lbs.

UGH.

Part of me really wants to give up. It's only the second weigh in and already I've had a gain. Am I just not as motivated as I think I am? Then the other half of me gives myself a swift kick in the mental ass and I realize that I don't really want to give up, I just want this to be easy.

But it's not, I know that.

SO. I'm done with the negative self-talk and ready to get pumped. This week I'm amping up my exercise and setting clear goals for myself. Not just for weight loss but in all aspects of my life. I've got to clear my head a little bit if I'm going to make this busy life work.

Tonight at my Weight Watcher's meeting we talked about storyboarding. We picked a goal for ourselves to complete by October 23 and came up with steps to achieve it.

My goal was to reach my 10% weight loss goal, which is 22.8 pounds.

{One} Go to Zumba class once a week. I discovered Zumba just a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Andie. I went a few times after I found out but as the morning sickness got worse so did my motivation. I LOVE it and I think this will be a great way to have fun and exercise.

{Two} Measure and weigh all food. I am pretty good at this until dinner time. I'm going to be sure not to get lazy and guestimate.

{Three} Exercise 6 times a week. Walking with Roxie has been great to get this done, I think I might need to incorporate more vigorous activity as well though.

{Four} Establish a routine. At the moment my days are crazy. I feel like I'm running from one thing to the next. I need to establish somewhat of a routine to create balance in my life.

{Five} Clear my head. All the running around is making my head feel like a muddled mess. I've got to prioritize my time and quit feeling guilty when I take a little "me time." Even if it's only 20-30 minutes a day I think a little time to myself could make a big difference in my mental energy level.

{Six} 10,000 steps a day. I have a nice pedometer I plan to start wearing tomorrow. I'd better start walking places!

I feel very confident in my goal, really that's only 20.8 lbs to lose because after this weeks gain I've still lost 2 overall. This will put me so close to breaking the 200 mark and that is such a GREAT feeling.

On a side note, I'm starting a blog challenge tomorrow I heard about from my friend Marci. 365 days of pictures of my babies! It should be so fun to see how much they change and grow from start to finish.

I heart them.

In the end, as depressing as a gain can be, they are my heart and I know they don't want or need me to be down about anything. I'm looking forward to the positive changes I'm making in my life, I know that it can only get better from here.

Time for a deep breath....

2010-09-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

I could swear yesterday was Thursday. It's just been that kind of weekend. Fun, yes, but so busy.

So much to share...

Friday
Friday night we had a dinner for Andie's "blessing." We don't belong to any church so we just had a family get together to celebrate our little love girl. My food actually turned out good and on time! I made chicken broccoli pasta with a rosa alfredo sauce and topped it with mozzarella cheese. For dessert I made cupcakes. Peanut butter and jelly and strawberry shortcake flavors. The strawberry shortcake kind is my newest creation. I used a vanilla cupcake, filled it with strawberries that had been soaked in balsamic vinegar and sugar topped with whipped cream and biscotti shavings! YUM! and so NOT diet friendly! But don't worry I planned for it and didn't even go over my daily points!
Saturday
Saturday we went to Flaming Gorge to stay with my grandparents for a night and try to get away from the normal for a bit. Getting away from the normal included eating my grandma's delicious and oh not so diet friendly food. (hmm... seems like a reoccurring theme in this weekend's adventure).

Every year on Labor Day weekend there is a boat show at the lake where people decorate their boats with lights and have a parade on the water! After the boat show there are fireworks to watch. It was the first time Frankie was really into the fireworks without hesitation about the loud boom! I was so proud of her!
Did I mention I stepped in some damn animal's hole and fell flat on my face? Yes, it happened.

Sunday
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday... This was my favorite day of the weekend. I finally felt like things were slowing down a bit and we weren't running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We drove home on Sunday, but we stopped for a few hours at the mountain man rendezvous in Ft. Bridger, WY. I LOVE this! People dress up in period clothing, sell their hand-made goods and there are demonstrations of the way things were done back in the day. And of course who could forget more unhealthy, greasy food!and Today...

Today I went walking with Roxie and cleaned the house. It felt good to have a little relax time even if it wasn't long. We are finally starting to get a routine around here! I'm getting a good feel for school and Andie is getting better at sleeping at night. :) I love to get away, it always reminds you of how much you love home.

Until next time,
Cheers!

What do you eat in a week?

2010-09-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

After my freakin' awesome weigh in someone asked me, "What do you eat during the day and what are your favorite snacks?"

So... I decided to post my trackers from this week and hopefully from that you can get an idea about my favorite snacks!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Activia Light (1 point)
Black coffee (0 points)

Lunch (Chuck-a-rama, OMG!

Salad bar w/garbanzos and vinegar for dressing (3 points)
Wheat dinner roll w/1 tsp butter (4 points)
1in x 1in rice crispy cube (1 point)
marinated cucumbers w/olive oil (1 point)
1/4 cup cottage cheese (2 points)
Grapefruit and Cantelope (2 points)

Dinner

Bagged pasta dinner, 1 serving (6 points)

I didn't quite use up all my points! oops! I've actually struggled with this all week, I'm restricting my self a little more than i need too, I've been so busy with kids and school I've hardly noticed hunger.

Thursday, August 26, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Activia Light (1 point)
Black coffee (0 points)
8 oz. V8 Juice low sodium (1 point)

Lunch

Toasted Tomato Sandwich w/lite miracle whip on whole wheat (4 points)
Lite String Cheese (1 point)
1/2 c. canned peaches, no sugar added (0 points)
5 c. 94% fat-free microwave popcorn (1 point)

Dinner

3 tacos, hard shell w/extra lean ground beef and fat-free sour cream (9 points)
olive bread (3 points)
1/4 peanut butter & jelly sandwich (3 points)
bites through out the day (4 points)

Friday, August 27, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Activia (2 points)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

1 c. brown rice (4 points)
1/2 c. canned peaches, no sugar added (0 points)
1 cucumber (0 points)
Lite string cheese (1 point)
Sorbet (2 points)

Dinner

1/2 Asian salad @ Red Robin (8 points)
whole grilled chicken breast, no sauce (4 points)
Red Mango frozen yogurt (3 points)

Saturday, August, 28, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Activia (2 points)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

Grilled Chicken Sandwich (7 points)
1 c. vegetable soup (2 points)

Dinner

2 tacos (8 points)
red mango frozen yogurt (3 points)

Sunday, August 29, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Activia (2 points)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

Squash, summer, cooked (0.5 cooked)
5 cups 94% fat free popcorn (1 point)

Dinner

Shepherd's Pie, 2 cups (17.5 points)
Pumpkin pie (6 points)

Monday, August 30, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
16 oz. V8 Low Sodium (1 point)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

The Alternative Bagel (1 point)
1/2 c. 2% cottage cheese (2 points)
Watermelon (2 points)

Dinner

1 c. white rice (4 points)
1 c. Nalley Chili (5 points)
Salad w/shredded cheese (3 points)
Light Catalina dressing (1 point)
Parmesan cheese (1 point)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Non fat Yogurt (2 points)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

Watermelon (2 points)
Lite string cheese (1 points)
cereal bar, high fiber (1 point)
5 c. 94% fat free popcorn (1 point)

Dinner

Spaghetti w/store bought marinara and ground beef (13 points)
5 doritos (2 points) NEVER AGAIN! what a waste of points!
banana (2 points)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Breakfast

Low Sugar Quaker Oatmeal (2 points)
Non fat Yogurt (2 points)
black coffee (0 points)

Lunch

Sheperd's Pie (9 points)
Banana Squash (2 points)
1/2 slice cheesecake (4.5 points)
Banana (2 points)

Dinner

Iceburg lettuce wraps (0 points)
1 c. white rice (4 points)
1 grilled chicken breast (3 points)
1 Tbsp. spicy peanut sauce (1 point)

Well there you have it, everything I put in my mouth beside water in the last week!

I went on a nice 45 minute walk this morning with Roxie my WW buddy! It felt so good! Roxie got me up early and it was nice to get going in the morning I'm hoping to keep it up! We're planning to go walking up Provo Canyon tomorrow, I'll be sure to take some pics!

Thanks for reading!

Fabulous First Weigh in!

2010-08-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well tonight was my first weigh in and am crazy happy because I lost 3.6lbs!!! Down to 225!

whew, bold big letters make it so much more exciting! :)

Tonight's meeting was about exercise and how it is not only essential to lose weight but it also has many other benefits. I was actually thinking today how much I forgot what a high working out is, and how I wished I would have done it more often during my pregnancy. I talked about exercising all the time and how I really needed to stay active... right. Today when I got home from walking Frankie to daycare I got the exercise "high" and realized how much I missed it. I am still somewhat restricted due to having a c-section 5 weeks ago but as soon as I get that "Ok" from my doc I'm going to get going full force! I can't wait to get back into Zumba, P90x, and of course enjoying the beautiful weather of the coming fall walking my babies everywhere in their Super Stroller!!

When I lost a lot of weight after Frankie was born I always had this theory that I was losing weight and enjoying every loss no matter how small because I had no "skinny body" to compare too. (You know those women who constantly compare their current bodies to their high school body or how they looked when they met their husband). Every loss held it's own magical power I wasn't hung up on the long term because I was in a world of uncharted territory in my life, every loss marked a new "skinny body" for me, lol. However, now that I do have a "skinny body" (sorta, I never did reach my ultimate goal) to compare myself too I only find it more motivating! I've done it before and I can do it again, it's proof that, yes, I will get there eventually.

On another note, my baby doll Andie is 5 weeks old today! She's already changed so much, it's amazing how fast time flies after they're born. She's sitting propped up in my lap as I write this just staring up and her mama. She is precious.

Stepping out of my comfort zone

2010-08-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

After a long night with a fussy baby and a long busy day I'm shocked I was having such deep thoughts as I sat in my dark Art History night class. So many times I wanted to raise my hand or shout out an answer but I held myself back, mostly (and irrationally) in fear that I would be ridiculed for a wrong answer. I began to think about why I would even think that the professor or any other student would ridicule me?

I came to the conclusion that it would never happen. However, I still never raised my hand. As I sat there I began to wonder where this insecurity came from, and began to realize I've had it nearly my whole life and most definitely since I began gaining extra weight as a child. I watched as other students raised their hands and actively participated in the discussion wishing I had the courage to join and noticed that the students who were speaking out the most were overweight, more overweight than me even. This got the gears turning in my head and I began to wonder if my timidness was really a product of being overweight? Or, if I was letting my weight take the fall for not stepping out of my comfort zone.

Either way I came to the conclusion in my dark Art History class that I'm done letting my weight or anything else stand in my way of being who I want to be.

Oh, and I want to learn to speak Italian.

On a lighter note, I FINALLY got to use my new stroller with the girls today and we LOVE it! Frankie loves that she can stand up and see where we are going and her baby sister. It's not too long, definitely not as long as most double strollers, and rides like a champ! The storage space is a little small and I definitely need to pick up one of those organizers that fits on to the handle, but overall I'm very pleased with it! It felt so nice to get out on a walk today it's been far to long and I'm going to try to start walking a lot more often!

Ok, I'm almost done rambling! Tomorrow is my first weigh in, I can't believe it's been a week already! I've been doing awesome with my eating (I haven't gone over my points once!) however, today was the first exercise I've been able to squeeze in. I'm hoping now that I've got the Super Stroller it'll be easier this coming week! Come visit my blog tomorrow for the results!

My Favorite Low Point Foods

2010-08-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

I love low point foods, but really who doesn't? It's a win, win. One of my most favorite low point snacks is 94% fat free popcorn. 5 cups for 1 point!! I love the minibags, 1 minute in the microwave and the whole bag is just about 5 cups.

Next on my list is butternut squash soup! At our house we LOVE Pacific Foods Butternut Squash soup, even my 3 year old will gobble up a whole bowl. 1 cup of this yummy yellow soup only 2 weight watcher points. Pair this with any good whole grain slice of toast (I've found some for 1 point a slice) and you've got a delicious hot lunch for 3-4 points (depending on your toast of choice).
Oh My Goodness, number 3 is so fantastic my mouth is watering.
Red Mango Frozen Yogurt, my current CRAVING! A small size (any flavor) of this heavenly treat is only 2 points! My favorite flavor-of all time-forever and ever-until death do us part- is key lime! If you haven't tried this you need to leave your house right now and get one. Bye.

Breakfast time.... Quaker Low Sugar oatmeal!(I go for the variety pack with cinnamon, maple and apple) 1 packet is only 2 points and makes a pretty decent sized bowl of oatmeal. Pair this with and Activia lite yogurt (1 point for 4 oz size) and breakfast is served for 3 points!

Last but not least is lite string cheese. I love cheese and it's one of the hardest things to cut back on for me. But anyone who has looked at the nutrition facts of cheese knows that now matter if your counting points or calories, it's just not pretty. These little lite string cheese babies are only 1 point and satisfy the cheesehead in me. Yum!

Leave me comments with your best low point foods!

My beautiful motivation

2010-08-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

My weight loss is about more than being skinny. It's about feeling good. It's about living a long life. It's about self confidence.... but most of all it's about being a good role model to my beautiful girls.

These two little ladies are my reason for waking up each morning (and not just because they're hungry or have to potty). My dad has always told me that a person doesn't know what love is until they have a child and it's true a child captures your heart in a way nothing else can.

I began gaining extra weight when I was about 10 years old. Fortunately, I was never the target of any harsh bullying in school but I did suffer with incredibly low self esteem and low self confidence, some of which has carried into adulthood. I hate that our society has made being overweight such a shameful thing and it is one of my biggest fears for my girls. I want them to have the best life experience possible and being a good role model by living a healthy lifestyle is the best way I can think to keep them from having the same experience I did as an overweight kid. In a research paper I did last semester in my English 2010 class about childhood obesity I learned that children tend to follow the body shape of their same sex parent (I can get you the article where I learned this if you're interested). Assuming this is true, the best thing I can do is get into shape and live a healthy lifestyle for my babies! :)

I've been diligently tracking my weight watcher points using my ww app on my ipod touch. I LOVE it! My new stroller came yesterday and I plan on getting some much needed exercise in!

First Meeting in a while...

2010-08-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well I attended my first weight watchers meeting in about a year last night. I don't know why I ever stopped going! The number on the scale was scary, but expected. I weighed in at 228.6, I'm going to get a picture up tomorrow. The message of the meeting was that weight watchers is a Live-it, not a Die-it, and I don't think there could have been a better message for my first meeting back. I am a mother of two, Frankie will be 3 in October and Andie is 4 weeks and a student taking 15 credits this semester. I need a Live-it.

I think I should mention that while I'm a weight watchers .Freak. I don't think it is the only plan in the world that works. It is what worked for me and that's why I love it. I truly believe that any sensible weight loss plan will include the same basic information, but you have to find the plan that works for YOU. I think the points system is so simple, but I can also see why it's not for some people, it's tedious for sure.

Of course after the meeting I was pumped about everything and made a .FABULOUS. dinner that was only 1 weight watcher point, I think. (I need to clarify with an instructor about when a variety of zero points become one point, I'll correct this if anything changes.) Shrimp and Veggie Kabobs. I put all the food on the skewers, sprayed with pam, seasoned and grilled them. Shrimp cooked this way might just be my favorite food ever! On the veggie kabobs I used green and red peppers, summer squash (from our garden) and mushrooms and seasoned them with season-all. For the shrimp kabobs I used jumbo size shrimp and put 6 on each skewer and seasoned them with salt and pepper. I was thinking next time I make this I would make some wild rice to go along with it, while a 1 point dinner is amazing some rice would have made it a little bit more filling.

According to Fed-ex, tomorrow my Joovy sit and stand stroller should be here and I can start walking! Since it's only been 4 weeks since my c-section that's all my doctor wants me doing right now. I'm so excited to take both girls with me on a walk! I think Frankie is going to love to stand up while we're cruisin'.

Life is going to be especially crazy for the next few months adjusting to all the changes of a new baby, school and trying to fit in burning calories where ever possible but I'm looking forward to it! I saw a bumper sticker today that said "Enjoy life, this isn't a rehearsal" and that's exactly what I intend to do!

The Beginning

2010-08-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

Today marks the beginning of my second and final weight loss journey. I am re-joining Weight Watchers today in hopes of losing nearly 100lbs. I first joined after the birth of my first daughter Frankie and succeeded in losing 70 lbs before getting pregnant again and gaining nearly all of it back. My beautiful daughter Andie was born four weeks ago today and is perfect in every way, naturally.

I have been struggling with my weight since grade school and it wasn't until Frankie was born that I found true motivation to lose weight and truly become a healthy person. I want to be a role model for my girls by living a healthy and happy lifestyle. Frankie already likes to "exercise" with her yoga mat. It's adorable.

My goals for this blog are to share my experience, to show people that anyone can lose weight it's just about will power, and to hold myself accountable by posting my weekly results with pictures.(eek!!) I also hope this will motivate others that need a little extra convincing that weight loss can be easy and fun, and that the results are rewarding beyond what you think. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you'll continue to be a part of my journey!