A year? Has it really been a year since I last posted here? I suppose when life starts to get a little crazy time tends to slip away from us unnoticed. I think about this blog often. I think about posting my attempts at weight loss (a slow going process these days), I think about posting about the chaos that has seemed to be swirling above my head for the last year but I've just never taken the time, until now. In an ideal world I would make the time to make this a regular thing, I enjoy it quite a bit. But, honestly, I can't make any promises.
Shortly after my last post here my mother was diagnosed with cancer of the appendix, a rare but not necessarily terminal, cancer. Cancer. At first, it was hard to believe, hard to fully grasp. In September she flew to Spokane, Washington to have a major, major, surgery and even then I don't think it had completely sunk into my soul just what she was facing, I'm not sure any of us really even knew. She had several complications from the surgery but eventually made it back home in November. However, the storm was not over.
In January, my mom's sister lost her fight with breast cancer. It was gut-wrenching and terrifying to be at that funeral. I watched all of my cousins being so brave and I wanted to be brave like them but inside I was an absolute mess. It seemed like it happened so fast, even now it catches me off guard when I think about her being gone.
The very next day more complications from surgery landed my mom in the ICU with sepsis. She was unconscious for about a week. We all tried to stay positive and hopeful, as hard as it is in times like those. I can remember just thinking to myself over and over again, "my mom is in the ICU, my mom is in the ICU..."
I can honestly say that I never felt scared that my mom was going to die, even though I should have been. I was always afraid she wouldn't come back to us in her right mind though. We got so lucky. She eventually came around and back to herself. She has spent most of 2012 in one hospital or another but is finally home and on the road to recovery.
I think looking back it's always hard to imagine how anyone, patient or family members make it through traumatic situations, but we do and we did. While things aren't back to normal yet they're much closer than they have been in a long time. We're getting very close.
One more short note...
I have made some updates and as you can see, while the weight loss is very slow going, it is... going. I've kept what I have lost off, I'm still making progress and I'm never giving up!
4 weeks ago