Monday, August 30, 2010

Stepping out of my comfort zone

After a long night with a fussy baby and a long busy day I'm shocked I was having such deep thoughts as I sat in my dark Art History night class. So many times I wanted to raise my hand or shout out an answer but I held myself back, mostly (and irrationally) in fear that I would be ridiculed for a wrong answer. I began to think about why I would even think that the professor or any other student would ridicule me?

I came to the conclusion that it would never happen. However, I still never raised my hand. As I sat there I began to wonder where this insecurity came from, and began to realize I've had it nearly my whole life and most definitely since I began gaining extra weight as a child. I watched as other students raised their hands and actively participated in the discussion wishing I had the courage to join and noticed that the students who were speaking out the most were overweight, more overweight than me even. This got the gears turning in my head and I began to wonder if my timidness was really a product of being overweight? Or, if I was letting my weight take the fall for not stepping out of my comfort zone.

Either way I came to the conclusion in my dark Art History class that I'm done letting my weight or anything else stand in my way of being who I want to be.

Oh, and I want to learn to speak Italian.

On a lighter note, I FINALLY got to use my new stroller with the girls today and we LOVE it! Frankie loves that she can stand up and see where we are going and her baby sister. It's not too long, definitely not as long as most double strollers, and rides like a champ! The storage space is a little small and I definitely need to pick up one of those organizers that fits on to the handle, but overall I'm very pleased with it! It felt so nice to get out on a walk today it's been far to long and I'm going to try to start walking a lot more often!

Ok, I'm almost done rambling! Tomorrow is my first weigh in, I can't believe it's been a week already! I've been doing awesome with my eating (I haven't gone over my points once!) however, today was the first exercise I've been able to squeeze in. I'm hoping now that I've got the Super Stroller it'll be easier this coming week! Come visit my blog tomorrow for the results!


  1. I hope tomorrow goes well! And great job to you for not going over ONE day, even on the day we went out. Good for you for not letting your "insecurities" about weight get in your way, you deserve better and shouldn't worry! You are beautiful, and such an amazing mom! I want to learn Italian too...

  2. Thats a cute stroller! I wish I would let weight get in the way of me doing things but I just can't seem to get the balls to do anything about it! Way to go! I am now following you from Bloggy Moms! Hope you can follow back. Nice to meet you! :)

  3. I want to learn Italian too. Love the stroller.

    Good for you that you're addressing your "insecurities" but don't worry too much. You sound like an amazing person.

  4. Love the stroller!! And good luck on your weigh in! New follower from Bloggy Moms! Hope you can stop by and return the follow :)